


We’ll cross that bridge (when we come to it)

by little_dumpling



Series: Out of You and Me [3]
Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23367385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dumpling/pseuds/little_dumpling
Summary: Dana has always loved Harvey. It doesn't matter that he doesn't love her back, she can wait until he does.Scottie's POV from Chapter 10 from my story "You know what they say about assuming". Can he read as a stand alone. Written in poetry and prose.
Relationships: Dana "Scottie" Scott/Harvey Specter
Series: Out of You and Me [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660579
Comments: 7
Kudos: 77





	We’ll cross that bridge (when we come to it)

**Author's Note:**

> OMGosh people, your comments are so lovely! Thank-you to everyone who has left your kind words on this series. I'd love to know what you think of this new POV!

> Some would call it pining,  
>  I call it waiting for the best.
> 
> Some days I would give it all away,  
>  For another chance, another test.
> 
> You once desired me so much,  
>  But had no desire to hold on.
> 
> We were once two parts of a puzzle,  
>  Now you’re so far gone.
> 
> Now I have my second chance with you,  
>  But all you can see is him.
> 
> He’s taken over all your thoughts,  
>  Though for you I’d risk life and limb.
> 
> Now I feel so lonely with you,  
>  And I know I’ll never be enough.
> 
> But I don’t want this to end,  
>  Even though it’s been so rough.
> 
> You’ll always be the one for me,  
>  Why can’t I make you see,  
>  Harvey.  
> 

  
I remember the first time I saw you.

You made a comment in a lecture and you impressed me. You impressed the whole class. You were smart and sarcastic and just a little too jaded.

I didn’t know until much later that that hurt in you was from your parents divorce. And that you’d never be able to commit to me how I needed you to. You were damaged before I met you in a way I couldn’t know or heal.

The day we got together, I couldn’t believe someone as smart and handsome as you would be interested in me. I wanted you so badly.

You were the older, cool guy in class. I didn’t realize then how immature I was. How you needed someone who knew the world, someone who could hold you close and explain why bad things happened. I saw you as some invincible super human that couldn’t be struck down.

I didn’t realize then how much that was a front. When really you had been struck, hurt and you were lying there bleeding out and no one could see. No one could see past the facade you wear.

The day we broke it off at Harvard, I didn’t think my heart would survive. To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to fall in love again. At least not as deeply as anything I felt for you.

You were everything to me.

It made me learn to love the law, though. It became a passion that helped me grieve and move on. I imagined myself becoming the most fearsome and successful lawyer in the world. Then you would come begging for me to take you back.

Did you know that? That I became a cutthroat, snarky and devious bitch because it was what I thought you wanted. But the more I became that person, the more I liked it. I liked the power and respect I held when I won cases. I liked the awe in my clients' faces when this tiny woman won for them.

But then you came back into my life. And you needed me to be vulnerable. You needed me to not be that woman I’d become. And so I was.

I let myself get hurt for you. I almost lost _everything_ for you.

And then it happened.

The merger went through, and I came to your penthouse. I was so excited. We could be together.

But the look on your face wasn’t excitement at the fact that we would be able to work together. You were devastated. To this day, you’ve never told me why.

But you fucked me that night like you’d lost something precious. Like you were mourning the most important thing in your life, and you needed to get it out of your system.

I won’t be ashamed to admit, I’ve never woken up more sore from a night with someone. You’d always been so gentle with me in the past. I know there’d always been a part of you that held back in fear of hurting me because I was a beta. But that night you didn’t hold back.

Who were you imagining with you in that bed? I know it wasn’t me, because you couldn’t look me in the eye before or after.

And from then on you were a mystery. Sometimes you’d invite me home after work and hold me close like I’d disappear. But you never said my name.

I felt a bit like a replacement. A fill-in.

It made me feel so empty inside.

Fuck Harvey, you were everything to me, and I was nothing to you.

Sometimes your old associate would pass by us at work, and you’d get this look on your face. A longing.

Your eyes always followed him, even if you kept such tight control of your body language.

It made me wonder. It made me think. It made me listen to all the gossip around the office.

What happened between you two. Even now I don’t know much. Some of them say you’d been betrayed by him. Some say he’d messed up a case of yours on purpose. Some say he did something illegal and you had to cover it up.

No one but Donna and Jessica seem to know, and neither of them are telling me.

If I were to guess I would say you’d loved him, but I know you're straight, and from everything I’ve heard about him, so is he.

Did he become like family to you? A best friend like you’d never had? Did he become close to you in a way that you’d never let me?

I wanted your love, but I would have settled for a deep friendship. I would tell you my secrets and keep yours too.

But you never let me in that far. When we were together your mind and soul was always so far away.

What happened, Harvey? To you? To me? To us?

Why do I feel like an untethered boat, drifting further and further away from you everyday?

I know I should probably let you go, for both our sakes. But I can’t, not yet. I’ll fight for you until the end.

And then one day it came.

I remember you sat me down on the sofa in your office. It wasn’t the first time we’d had sex on it, so I was kind of expecting you to make a move.

But the office was only just winding down for the day, even Donna was still out at her desk. And you’d never been an exhibitionist.

And you started talking, telling me how much you loved me as a friend. And I knew it was the beginning of the end.

I remember seeing your old associate stop and talk to Donna, out of the corner of my eye. I remember seeing him walk away carrying a box.

But then I stopped caring because you told me…

You finally told me.

Fuck you Harvey, you asshole.

I don’t know how my heart will survive this.


End file.
